CHRISTINA HUGHES
The Girl

When the director asked the cast to provide her with their bios, Christina misunderstood and thought she heard "biology". Having only just recently graduated from college, Christina was still a numb, term-paper-writing zombie drone.

She left rehearsal immediately and rushed to the library, wanting to get started right away. She was so determined to write a perfect paper, she didn't even stop at the Wawa for supplies, preferring instead to deny herself any sustenance until she had completed her research.

After staying up the entire night and most of the following day, Christina was ready to hand in her paper. She stopped home for a grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup and a glass of chocolate milk, changed into her favorite, purple, good luck shirt and ran a brush through her hair. With her paper tucked under her arm, and a satisfied smile of accomplishment fixed on her face, she left for rehearsal.

When the director asked Christina for her bio, what she was given instead was a 35 page dissertation entitled The Characteristic Life Processes and Resulting Phenomena of the Spiny-Finned Australian Sea Perch and It's Ongoing Symbiotic Relationship with the New Zealand Morwong (Dactylosparus Carponemus). It was really quite a brilliant little treatise. The director found some compassion, in her otherwise black heart, and gave it a B and returned a copy to Christina, who seemed dully satisfied with her grade.

The director then signed her own name as author to the original and submitted it to a few of the top colleges and universities. She has a meeting with Harvard in October.

Meanwhile, none of us really know much about Christina, except that she seems to love performing. And despite her constant outbursts of "Is this going to be on the test?!" and her insistence that we all sing the Spare Parts Alma Mater before we begin each rehearsal, she's been a lot of fun to have around.

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