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CHRISTINA
HUGHES
The Girl
When
the director asked the cast to provide her with
their bios, Christina misunderstood and thought
she heard "biology". Having only just
recently graduated from college, Christina was
still a numb, term-paper-writing zombie drone.
She
left rehearsal immediately and rushed to the library,
wanting to get started right away. She was so
determined to write a perfect paper, she didn't
even stop at the Wawa for supplies, preferring
instead to deny herself any sustenance until she
had completed her research.
After
staying up the entire night and most of the following
day, Christina was ready to hand in her paper.
She stopped home for a grilled cheese sandwich,
tomato soup and a glass of chocolate milk, changed
into her favorite, purple, good luck shirt and
ran a brush through her hair. With her paper tucked
under her arm, and a satisfied smile of accomplishment
fixed on her face, she left for rehearsal.
When
the director asked Christina for her bio, what
she was given instead was a 35 page dissertation
entitled The Characteristic Life Processes
and Resulting Phenomena of the Spiny-Finned Australian
Sea Perch and It's Ongoing Symbiotic Relationship
with the New Zealand Morwong (Dactylosparus Carponemus).
It was really quite a brilliant little treatise.
The director found some compassion, in her otherwise
black heart, and gave it a B and returned a copy
to Christina, who seemed dully satisfied with
her grade.
The
director then signed her own name as author to
the original and submitted it to a few of the
top colleges and universities. She has a meeting
with Harvard in October.
Meanwhile,
none of us really know much about Christina, except
that she seems to love performing. And despite
her constant outbursts of "Is this going
to be on the test?!" and her insistence that
we all sing the Spare Parts Alma Mater before
we begin each rehearsal, she's been a lot of fun
to have around.
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