David Nolan

Finally Dave has been given his big chance. After years of tugging everyone's sleeve apologetically, offering his unsolicited insights into the mind of their characters, worrying himself sick over text and delivery, all the while blanking on stage, he can now direct.

Although everyone agrees that the nickname he was given over a decade ago fits perfectly, Director Dave, "DD" as we like to all him, has labored very hard the last year or so stabbing everyone in the back, while sincerely telling them so-and-so would never work with them again. Eventually, everyone else in contention estranged themselves from the Spare Parts, and those who didn't resorted to confidential phone calls to the Police Narcotics Hotline, the doors swung open.

The next problem, casting. After bugging the shit out of every past cast member, some major stroking needed to be done. Patrick was easy, being Dave's younger cousin there were plenty of skeletons within arms length. Brandon just needed the promise of beer. Jill, come on, we all know how gullible she is. Heather had only worked with DD on one other occasion and it was a large cast, five years ago. Amanda, well, she's never worked with him, and if rehearsals keep going the way they have, never will again. Leslie, although never finishing college, did accumulate a few credits taking psychology classes before dropping out. So after noticing how DD displayed certain typical neurosis when in the presence of his brother and sister, he came to the conclusion that if she incorporated some of his siblings' mannerisms an advantage could be had. Being a redhead, just like the brother and sister added the final touch. Needless to say, Leslie has never had a problem with Dave. Actually, he amuses her.

So now Dave, it's time. Step up to the plate! Put up or shut up! What's that? Give you a break?! Come on! Where's all that intuition you're always saying you have?! Don't just sit there with that stupid look on your face! Let's GO! Get out of that fetal position. Show us, the untalented ones, how it's done. Ok, ok, Leslie, give him a hand. Ellen, could you get a mop please? He left a puddle.

Lew, what were you thinking?